This and That

Archive for the ‘Teachable Thursday’ Category

My son’s recent hurtful situation with his friends has been weighing heavy on my heart, so I thought today I would talk about teaching our children how to love. Which is a funny thing to teach because it seems that it would be obvious or built-in to us as humans. I do think we are born wanting to be loved and needing love but children still need to be taught how to show that love to others.

Of course actions speak louder than words, so showing your kids how to love others by loving them is a very effective way to teach. Giving your kids hugs and kisses is a wonderful way to show love but you also need to speak to them words of affirmation. Praising them, telling them they did a good job, and telling them how smart, cute, and funny they are is so important . These words lift up their spirit and confirms to them their value.

Being affirmed by their family teaches kids the words they should speak to others. I already see this with my son. He speaks love to his brother by saying I love you or telling him how cute or funny he is, which are words he learned from me. But it doesn’t just stop there. When he affirms his brother I then praise him for his words which makes him want to speak words of love to his brother again, and the cycle starts all over again. This is a beautiful habit everyone needs to start with their children: the loving words habit!

I know there are parenting experts out there that say praising your child too much can actually harm them. Their theory is that singing affirmations to kids all the time will cause them to get a big head, think they are perfect, and believe no one should ever get mad at them or correct them. I think this is completely absurd. I praise my son throughout the day but I also correct him and discipline him throughout the day too. If I was only telling my son how great he was and never correcting or discipline him sure he might get a big head but what parent would actually do that, none that I know.

Remember you are showing your kids how to love others, which is one of the most important things you can do! Affirm your kids, speak loving words to them, and value them in your statements.

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I’m changing it up today on Teachable Thursday. Today’s lesson is for me, the parent.

Not long after baby boy’s personality started showing did I realized he was going to be very different from his older brother. My oldest son is very outgoing, emotional, passionate, independent, and super active.

Baby boy’s personality, on the other hand, is much more easy going, cautious, very happy, dependent, and laid back.

My sons  are very different people.

When we go to the park my older son will play non-stop the entire time. Baby boy, however, will play for a while and then he finds his way back to the stroller and just sits and watches. He is totally content just observing. My older son would view this as some sort of punishment.

Baby boy loves to sit and read. He and I could just sit on the floor and go through stacks of books for hours. My older son gets bored with reading after page three.

When I take my older son some place new he waves goodbye to me and runs straight into the fun. Baby boy will cling to my leg, force me to pick him up, and stay in my lap the whole time. We will probably have to go back three or four times before he will be comfortable enough to leave my side.

And that is the lesson today. To remember that my sons are very different. To remember that they are individuals. To remember not to expect one son to act the same as the other. And to remember not to compare them.

My sons are very different and that is OK!

As a child I had a hard time apologizing. I was too proud and I didn’t want to admit I was wrong. This  inevitable created a worse situation for myself. There was tension, loss of trust, and more likely than not a punishment.

When I started in the workforce I finally learned the value of saying I’m sorry. At work mistakes happen, and for me they usually happened everyday. But I realized the quicker I apologized the faster the situation would  be defused, the sooner I would be forgiven, and everyone could move on from the mistake and start focusing on the solution. I learned it’s really hard to stay mad at someone when they admit their faults and apologize.

In fact, I learned this so well I would apologize for things that weren’t my fault. If the client was upset by something totally out of my control or about something that had nothing to do with me, I would just apologize and miraculously they would feel better. The client knew it wasn’t my fault but having someone apologize just makes people feel better.

I try and teach this lesson to my boys. Just say you’re sorry. If my older son pushes his little brother down, say you’re sorry. If my younger son hits his older brother with a train track (yes a train track!), say you’re sorry. There is usually a hug involved with the sorry and a punishment most likely follows, but by apologizing the boys are mending their relationship and healing hurt feelings.

Admit your faults and be humble. God loves a humble heart.

Check out the video below of my boys practicing this lesson and acting SUPER adorable!!