This and That

The Pains of Mommy Guilt

Posted on: November 9, 2011

I am plagued with mommy guilt everyday.

Mainly with my oldest son.

Why do I have so much guilt?

Maybe it’s because I tried breastfeeding him and failed, or because I went back to work so early on in his life and I have always felt we missed out on a special bond or  because I think I am too hard on him or because I didn’t cuddle him enough or made him cry it out too much…or…or…or. My list of things I do wrong or have done wrong with my son goes on and on. It’s unending really.

I think it’s my fault he isn’t very affectionate.

I think it’s my fault that he has a temper.

Surprisingly I don’t have much mommy guilt with my second son. I believe I’ve used up all my guilt on my eldest.

This mommy guilt is so painful and it haunts me. I am so oversensitive when it comes to him. I over analyze everything I have done or have not done with him. It seriously gives me pain in my heart and unfortuatnely I don’t think my mommy guilt will ever go away.

No matter how much my hubby or my mother try to comfort me and convince me that my guilt is without merit, it’s still there.

It’s always still there.

Logically I know this is my problem, not his. Logically I know these are all my insecurities and I am just too hard on myself. But never-the-less these are my feelings. And feelings aren’t always logical.

Has anyone experienced these pains from mommy guilt?

Any advice for my tortured soul?

PS:  I am in no way stating that working moms don’t have a special, strong bond with their children. I am simply confessing my feelings towards my situation with my son. Please don’t read into my statement that I think it applies to all working moms. It doesn’t!



1 Response to "The Pains of Mommy Guilt"

I think every mom has mommy guilt – I was too hard, I was too easy, I was too organized, I wasn’t organized enough, the list goes on and on. We do the best we can in the circumstances we find ourselves. Every child/person has their own personality and we have to accept that. I always say that my children turned out so good in spite of me. I guess my only suggestion is to also look at the positives of your children and what a great job you did.

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